


She Never Asked Me About the Wrong I Did

by phenomenology



Series: Kanera Week [5]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars: Rebels
Genre: F/M, Fluff, Kanera Week
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-19
Updated: 2016-03-19
Packaged: 2018-05-27 15:12:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,243
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6289528
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/phenomenology/pseuds/phenomenology
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kanera Week Day Five: prompt - appealing<br/>Kanan's curious about Hera's tattoos and Hera wants to know what hair feels like.</p>
            </blockquote>





	She Never Asked Me About the Wrong I Did

Hera sank down on the couch in the galley, heaving out a weighted sigh. She flipped her lekku over her shoulders, moving them out of the way of being squished between the back of the seat and her shoulders. Nearly every part of her body already ached and she honestly didn’t feel like adding her lekku to the list.

Leaning her head back against the padding of her seat, Hera closed her eyes and allowed her mind to wander a little. She and Kanan had recently been sent on more and more missions by her contact. Fulcrum was relying on them rather heavily, seeming to know their capabilities extended far beyond other cells Fulcrum was in contact with. And as far as Hera knew, those cells were limited and spread very thin.

Trying and failing to stifle a yawn, Hera stretched her arms over her head and grunted softly with the movement. Her lekku tensed up a little as she stretched, leaving a pleasant feeling radiating throughout her entire body. Hera had been cooped up in the cockpit for quite a while and it felt good to stretch.

As she sat there, enjoying stretching herself out, Kanan’s soft footsteps could be heard approaching the galley. He came up beside the pilot and stopped. Hera remained in her position for a moment, seeing if he would continue on. When he didn’t, Hera opened her eyes and turned her head sideways to look up at her partner.

“Can I help you?” she asked, mildly curious as to why Kanan was just standing there. He seemed to be staring at something just behind her head, and that was actually making Hera pretty nervous.

Kanan shook his head and finally met her eyes. “I’ve been wondering this for a while but, those markings on your lekku…what are they? I know not every Twi’lek has them.”

Hera stared at him oddly for a couple of heartbeats, having no idea where this topic came from or why it was bothering Kanan; but she sat forward and gestured for Kanan to take a seat next to her. Once he was seated, Hera pulled one lekku over her shoulder and held it gingerly in her hands.

“See how the pigment is lighter inside the markings?” she asked, holding t-chin out a little for Kanan to see. When he nodded, Hera continued, “It’s a special kind of dye – a permanent one – that’s given only to certain Twi’lek’s once they turn ten years of age.”

Kanan raised his brows at her and smirked. “And how did you come to be one of these ‘certain children’?” His tone was slightly mocking, but Hera could tell he genuinely was curious about the topic. Giving him a look, she flipped her lekku back over her shoulder before continuing.

“It had to do with familial status. And since my father was the de facto leader of our village during the Clone War – and a general much later on in the war – it was rather obvious for the elders of the village to select my sister’s and I for the ceremony.

“A few months before our birthdays, there is a small group of elders in our village that would go around and select five young Twi’lek’s turning ten that year and tell us to create a meaningful design or pattern that is to then be tattooed onto our lekku.”

“And you were picked the year you were to turn ten?” Kanan clarified, glancing back at the designs adorning Hera’s lekku. The pattern seemed simple enough, and he wanted to ask what the inspiration was. But she had said they were “meaningful” designs, which led Kanan to believe that it was probably not something Hera would be keen on sharing. So instead, he listened to what she wanted to tell him.

Hera nodded in response to Kanan’s question with a sparkle in her eyes. “Yes, I was. I spent days – weeks actually – agonizing over what I wanted my design to look like. My mother tried to help me, but ultimately, it had to be my own work…my own idea. And when my mother had turned ten, she had been chosen to have her lekku tattooed, so she knew what I was going through.

“Thank goodness she talked me through everything, too. Because once the elders paint on the pattern with the dye, they wrapped up our lekku and we had to be careful not to jostle them for almost a full day. It was agonizingly slow.” 

Kanan chuckled and reached over to lightly tap Hera’s fidgeting hands. She had been subconsciously pulling at the fingertips of her gloves, staring off into the distance as she spoke.

“Well, I think you picked a good design. It’s simple, but very stylish. Especially on you,” Kanan murmured the last part, leaning in and smiling at Hera. The Twi’lek smirked back at him and gently shoved his face away.

“Thank you,” she said softly. “But the design isn’t actually my own. I…” Hera paused here, her smirk slipping and gaze dropping. “I used my mother’s lekku design.”

Kanan tilted his head and leaned back into the couch again. “Why? I thought the designs had to be unique.”

Hera shook her head. “I said they had to be _meaningful_. And my tattooing ceremony was two weeks after my mother passed away. So I-I used her design…so I could always remember her.”

Kanan pressed his lips together lightly and looked down. He felt like he had intruded on something personal – something incredibly private – to Hera that he wasn’t supposed to know about. Yes, she had been the one to continue telling him about it, but he had asked in the first place so it was technically his doing.

While he wished he hadn’t really asked now, Kanan couldn’t help himself. There was something about Hera’s lekku and the beautiful design there that he found intriguing. More often than not, he found himself wanting to just trace the patterns with his finger, see where the lines and loops went. Kanan wanted to memorize every twist and turn of the pale pigment so that he would be able to do it in his sleep. There was no logical explanation for this – it was just something he thought about.

“Well what about you?” Hera’s asked, drawing Kanan’s attention back to her. She looked up at him openly, her gaze slightly curious.

“What do you mean?” he stared blankly back at Hera. Huffing with mild exasperation, it was clear to Hera that Kanan had not been paying attention a few moments ago. She mockingly tried to remain patient with him.

“I said why do you keep your hair so long? I’ve seen other male humans and most of them tend to have a shorter style. Is there a reason you keep it so long or do you just like it?”

Kanan stared at Hera with an almost uncomprehending look for a handful of moments. Hera had no idea _why_ he was giving her this look. The question had been simple enough, and now he was just sitting there, looking at her like she had three heads. Hera tilted her head to the side and leaned forward slightly.

“Hello? This is your captain speaking. You still in there, Kanan?” she called, waving a hand in front of his face once a couple minutes passed. She was starting to get a little worried about him.

Kanan started, jumping slightly as he looked around quickly, as if reorienting himself. “S-Sorry,” he mumbled. “I was just thinking. You’re right, there is a reason I like keeping it long.” Hera narrowed her eyes when Kanan hesitated, wondering what he could possibly be thinking about.

“It’s something my master once said to me,” Kanan’s soft voice finally spoke up again. Hera leaned back, staring at him with wide eyes.

“When we were younglings,” Kanan continued. “We had to keep our hair shorter, and I never really found out why, it was just something that the Jedi did. But once I was assigned to Master Billaba, I started to let it grow a little more. I don’t even remember how we started talking about it, but she and I were discussing hair one night after a training session. She made a comment about how lovely she thought my hair was, how it was dark and had a thick volume to it.

“Master Billaba said that she thought my hair would look nice if it was long, like some of the other Jedi masters wore their hair. I had never really given it much thought before that, since hair wasn’t really that important to me. And to be honest, I didn’t actually think about it again until after she died. When I often tried to forget everything about what had happened, I never tried to forget Master Billaba. No matter what I did, she was always there. And the more I tried to remember her, the more of the little things I remembered. So I ended up letting my hair get long, and I kept it that way, for her in a way. So I guess…it’s similar to your story.”

Hera watched Kanan as he spoke, his expression softening with fondness as he spoke of his old master. She knew that his past was a very sensitive and delicate topic of conversation. But the way he spoke of Billaba, she must have been dear to him; and the reverence that he spoke of her with made Hera smile.

“You know,” she said quietly, gently pulling his gaze back to her with her soft tone. “I’ve never actually _felt_ human hair before. Would you mind if I-?” Hera stopped mid-sentence, her cheeks coloring darkly with embarrassment at her request.

“Would you mind if I felt your hair?” she pushed the sentence out in a rush, pretending that she was ripping off a verbal bandage. The worst he could do was say no.

_Well that’s not true,_ her subconscious piped up. _He could laugh, ridicule you, and tell you how weird this is. I mean, what was I even_ thinking _? This is such a dumb-_

“Be my guest,” Kanan said, much to Hera’s surprise. She watched as Kanan shifted around so his back was to her, giving her better access to his hair. It was still tied up in his signature ponytail, not very optimal for Hera to completely understand what it felt like to run her fingers through hair. So she quietly reached up and gently pulled out the tie, watching as the length of Kanan’s hair fell down, stopping just above his shoulders. She ran her gaze over his hair, imagining what it might feel like even as she tugged off her gloves and set them aside.

Taking a deep breath, Hera reached up and carefully pulled her fingers through Kanan’s hair. It was like nothing she had really ever felt before. It sort of reminded her of fur, but with a different texture to it. Kanan’s hair felt a little less coarse, softer and thick with volume. There was a slight wave near the nape of his neck, probably a consequence of him always tying it back.

But the sensation was satisfying to Hera, as she continued to drag her fingers over and over against through the little waves of Kanan’s hair. She tried not to feel awkward – sure they had decided to be an exclusive thing about a month and a half ago – but this was still such a weird request. Hera doubted there were many couples out there that asked to feel each other’s hair. Shaking her head, Hera took a little breath and dropped her hand from Kanan’s hair.

“Sorry,” she mumbled. “That was a weird request. I was just…curious.”

Kanan turned back to her, leaving his hair down even after he took his hair tie back from her. “No, it wasn’t weird. I totally get it. I’ve actually wondered what it’s like to have lekku. Although, that is a much harder curiosity to fulfill than feeling hair.”

Hera chuckled and shook her head, shifting so she could lean against Kanan’s shoulder. His arm draped itself around her neck, coming to rest atop her opposite shoulder, his fingers brushing against her upper arm. Kanan started to play with a little pinch of fabric as they just sat there. 

“Did you like it? The feel of hair?” Kanan asked her after a few moments. There was no teasing note in his voice, he was genuinely curious about what she thought. It brought a little smile to Hera’s face. 

“I did,” she murmured. “It was really nice. Different, and kind of reminded me of fur, but definitely nice.”

Kanan leaned down and brushed his nose against her cheek, getting Hera to turn her face towards his. Their lips brushed against each other’s, lightly making contact, each other’s breath warm against their partner’s lips.

“Good,” Kanan mumbled before he leaned forward and locked his lips with Hera’s. She hummed and pressed upward towards his lips, her eyes fluttering shut. It had taken her a while to get used to the idea of being in a relationship, given their circumstances; but once they had established it, Hera adjusted rather easily. And sitting here, her lips pressed comfortably against Kanan's, her hands reaching up to tangle in his hair again, she didn't think that she had ever been so content in her life.


End file.
